Hello, dear ones,
Yes, "I always find a parking space!" I have friends for whom this is the case. They repeat this sentence and - whoosh - a space opens up and they have a parking space. Lightheartedly they drive into the narrowest city centers and don't worry, because they always find a parking space.
It's not like that with me. Quite the opposite. When I have to go somewhere and I can't avoid driving (which I do as much as I can), my heart starts racing as soon as I approach my destination. I am talking about the distress of an HSP, a Highly Sensitive Person, like me. For us, looking for a parking space is pure stress.
HSP, as I said, stands for Highly Sensitive Person and is characterized by a special kind of perception that is innate and different from that of other people. It is a kind of basic setting of the brain and not a learned behavior pattern. So a good example is this parking lot search. The fact that behind me someone is pushing, driving up close and I know for sure that he also wants exactly this parking space, is one of the moments in which this feeling clearly shows itself. I then get so stressed that in 9 out of 10 cases I simply drive on, leaving the field to the other person. And - of course - I get annoyed. But I can't stand this energy field.
I get astonished looks from my passengers, "... come on, just park the car!" they say and don't understand a bit what's going on inside me. In such moments of over-arousal, my body produces cortisol like crazy and my perception changes. I hear every little sound, I see every impulse of movement, and the world in front of my windshield becomes a kind of hidden object world. Help, let's get out of here.
It takes a few moments to return to normal. And yes, eventually I find a parking space. But it's no fun, is it? I am diagnosed as highly sensitive and am learning - late in life - to deal with it. For a long time, I didn't talk about these internal vortices, I had no idea...! And when I did know, I knew that this term would probably be dismissed as "oh,...something new again". The fact is, it's a congenital thing. Hypersensitive. It's not a disease, it's not a mental disorder, it's a way the brain is "preset" to take in information and process it.
What HSP is about has also been scientifically presented by Dr. Elaine Aron, at the time (1996) a research psychologist at the University of Santa Cruz in California.
If one wanted to put it very simply, one could say that information that is normally filtered and pre-sorted simply slips through in HSPs. It falls directly into the emotional realm and does its work there: it is stimulating in any case, even if it might not be stimulating at all in terms of content. Searching for a parking space is not witchcraft, but if many components are experienced at once, then a state of over-excitement arises. The sensors go into overdrive.
It is exciting that not only in such moments of stress as an HSP one perceives much more details than - what can I say - normal people.
For example, I can clearly perceive whether the person in the car behind me really wants this parking space, or whether he just wants me to make room for him. I can even include this in my decision: whether I simply try to hit the space at the first go, or whether I accept to drive around the block 10 - 20 more times. I also notice whether someone is looking out of the window on the third floor and watching me. And the more I feel like I'm being watched, the less likely I am to manage that parking space on the first try. (Although I'm a good driver, by the way).
"I can always find a parking spot" makes me furious. Because it's one of the many interfaces where I just function differently. In the meantime I deal with it more calmly, I know about the inner processes, I know about the stress that can seemingly arise over nothing and I'm always gaining experience on how to effectively counteract it.
I am a well-functioning person, you can't see the HSP on me, but I feel it. I have set up my life accordingly. Actually, it's been an almost automatic process, I've noticed pressure and thought, "how could I make this better?" I made some tweaks to help me live my best life. The way I want it to be for my clients! I put my increased intuitive ability to work for my clients because I can sense where my clients are at.
So it has come naturally that I work online. I need the physical space - my beloved garden cottage - for myself alone, but share my work very happy with you, no matter in what part of the world you are.
From the cottage, on a summer rainy Sunday dear greetings!
And to whom it may interest: Dr. Elaine Aron
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator