top of page


Surfing Emotions

Hello and welcome, 

I extend my sincere thanks to all participants of our recent workshop on April 27th, 2024. Your presence, engagement, and curiosity truly enriched our discussions. Together, we explored the nuanced differences between Emotions and Feelings and briefly touched on the concept of Moods.

I am also grateful for your generous donations, which reflect your appreciation for our time together.

 It was a pleasure to delve into these topics with such an enthusiastic group.


Surfing Emotions


Exploring the Depths of Emotions

After extensive research, I find myself more drawn to the relevance of emotions in our lives. It has become a subject that captivates me deeply. One of the most notable insights I've gathered through my reflections is our culture's inadequate accommodation of emotions.

Since childhood, we're often taught to view emotions as disruptive forces, to be suppressed or concealed. This societal conditioning frequently leads to what I refer to as the "breaking the dam" phenomenon, where emotions suddenly burst forth—often uncontrollably. We experience them as uncomfortable, thus we try to avoid them as long as possible. However, this period is short.

Let us try something else. How about spotlighting emotions instead?

The Interplay Between Thoughts and Feelings 

There's considerable debate swirling around what comes first: thoughts shaping feelings, or feelings shaping thoughts. Who's to say for certain? Reflecting on this, I realized that maybe this question misses the mark entirely. Let's look deeper.

It seems to me that the relationship between thoughts and feelings is more nuanced than a simple linear causation. Instead, they dance together in a complex interplay, each influencing and shaping the other in a constant feedback loop.

Consider this: our thoughts often arise from the interpretation of our feelings, but those same thoughts can also influence how we perceive and experience those feelings. It's like a swirling vortex where one moment a thought pulls us into an emotion, and the next, that emotion shapes how we interpret subsequent thoughts.

This dynamic interaction between thoughts and feelings is crucial to understanding our inner world.

It's not merely about which comes first, but how they coalesce to create our subjective experience of reality. Perhaps it's not about prioritizing one over the other but recognizing their intricate dance and learning to navigate it with awareness and insight.


may I suggest a Coaching Session with me? As a Focusing Coach, I will guide you through the cascade of your emotions, feelings, and moods.

Wanting. Wondering. Worrying. 


Emotions Are...

There are many opinions and scientific theories on what emotions truly are. I am not a scientist and my knowledge is limited. But I am a life coach in search of a practical turning point. I am looking for a way to help my clients best. That is what drove my research.

If my client brings deep emotions to the sessions (not requiring therapy, understood), what do I do with them? Do I find the underlying thought and take it to some thought-dissolving tool?

I didn´t find that satisfying in all cases.

The theory of Emotional Intelligence provided many answers for me. I especially found many explanations in the work of "6 Seconds"  the company of Joshua Freedman. I invite you to watch his films. They are easy to understand and provide a lot of solid background.


Astonishing findings 

Emotions and feelings are not synonyms - at least in a scientific sense,

Emotions are physical impulses, triggered by an external or internal event of some magnitude. In an evolutionary sense, they were our lifeguards, when our ancestors were challenged by their challenging environment, Fight - Flight - Freeze. The Lizard as Wayinder Coaches would say. 

Life has become a lot easier and at same time more difficult, as our Feelings States provide a vast plane for dissatisfaction. This is not the place to discuss what kind of triggers there are, but we understand that the signal is clear and intense.

Wooosh,  And The Emotion Shoots Off

It lasts for 6 Seconds.


And please note that these triggers are not individual, but rather universal. They operate the same (with some minor differentiations) in all cultures.  


Now that I mentioned the differentiations let me explain: Western Cultures prefer High Arousal (Negative) Emotions while Eastern Cultures prefer Low Arousal (positive) Emotions.


Arousal is the energy that is behind an emotion.

Emotions Are Part Of The Human Biology

They are chemicals!

Here to help regulate our minds and bodies. The interesting fact is that that they are aways present. They circulate within our bodies days and nights, ready for action at any given time. 

There Are About Eight Basic Emotions

People like numbers and of course, we find a lot of variation when it comes to determining the exact number of emotions. (I am looking ahead and since I will Introduce the Wheel of Emotions to you, which is based on 8 emotions).


Paul Ekman, a leading psychologist in this field postulated in 1979 that there 6 basic emotions.  Fear, Disgust, Anger, Surprise, Joy, Sadness. In 1997 He added 7 more emotions :

+ Embarrassment, Excitement, Contempt, Same, Pride, Satisfaction, Amusement.

Robert Plutchnik came in from another angle. He had studied animal behavior for many years and discovered that his findings were transferable to the human being. He found 8 basic emotions, which he saw in opposing pairs:

Joy – Sadness

Anger – Fear

Trust – Disgust

Surprise – Anticipation

Wait for more.

Emotions Are Contagious

When you ride on a train and sit next to a person undergoing strong emotions, your biological field will pick it up. From my shamanic background, I would like to remind you that you need to cleanse and seal your energetic field (about one arm´s length around your body before you enter any kind of crowd. Use breathing, colors, and images.

The Wheel of Emotions

I am linking you to `6 Second´s Site. They do not only have a fantastic display of the Wheel of Emotion, it is also interactive. It is a very useful tool for us coaches, as we gain insights around the balancing powers of emotions.


So Then What Are Feelings 

After our emotions have sent a 6-second chemical surge into our body, certain matching cells will absorb and multiply this information at an enormous speed. It is only then, we "feel" that something is going on.

Feelings are influenced by subjective perception. Meaning, the same emotion might generate various feelings among the people experiencing it.

feelings last longer, because they involve a loop with the cognitive parts of our brain, trying to understand and mediate the situation. One might say feelings are thought-about emotions. 

Actions and Behaviors

How we finally react to an emotional impulse, depends on the kind and amount of cognitive spice added to it. There is a lot to be learned by each individual about the modulation of feelings.

While it is very difficult to catch the 6-second action radius of emotions on the top of the cascade, we do influence the outcome by steering our thoughts.


This page wouldn´t bear my signature (as Focusing Coach) if I didn´t talk about Bodywork. We learned above that Feelings are bodily reactions. They are psychological in effect.

On this level we can do wonderful work with our clients, taming aroused feelings them.

Our Body will give us information as to the Hwym the How, And Whereto.


Ich bin ein Textabschnitt. Klicke hier, um deinen eigenen Text hinzuzufügen und mich zu bearbeiten.


Find the Recording of the Zoom Workshop here.


Feel Free to download the PDF with the Coaching Questions that were mentioned in the Workshop.

Subscribe to my Newsletter

Don´t miss great opportunities. Join us here.

bottom of page