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Honoring Stuckness

As Wayfinder Coaches*, we are well taken of when it comes to continuous learning and studying. Yesterday in a 90-minute session one of the teachers said this: "We have to learn to honor our stuckness (or that of our clients)".

It hit home.

I thought about it all evening and I can feel my soul activating potential. Feels great.

Every now and then we hit a vale of tears. Sometimes we replay an old story, and sometimes something exceptionally hurtful comes around the corner. A job is lost, a disease has shown itself, a loss of someone precious, a breakup, a financial bottleneck, an artistic crisis, a deep worry about our future, a deep mourning over the state of the world.

No matter what it may be, it causes grief, fear, and loneliness.

Our (Western) culture has not stored our inborn knowledge of how to deal with moments like that. We tend to run away, busy ourselves, or try to find a substitute as soon as possible.

But about honoring these moments? How about standing still for some time (it doesn´t have to be long) and really diving into the realm?


Nothing moves. (Good). And when it slowly does, it moves very gently. Hardly noticeable at first. It usually follows the first impulses of denial and anger. While stuckness keeps us motionless, sadness rises. It is an emotion that wants to move. It is a natural dancer. Slowly, full of dignity, sometimes a little heavy. If we bear with it, it will slowly turn into creativity. Our souls wake up.


When you allow this space to open up, you begin to feel. Deeply and longingly. Our inner senses will wake up. The inner Hearing. The inner Seeing. The inner Smelling and Tasting. The inner Touch may just be from your soul. In the Cosmic I-Ching*, we call the accordance of our inner senses "commonsense", it is the moment of alignment with our higher knowledge.


In her book "The Language of Emotions" Karla McLaren* describes emotions that are in alignment with our inner senses as "our inner village". My mind (probably trained by many years of directing) immediately puts out this image of a Hopi-like village, the house of the elders sitting in the middle, sacred and sound. I envision women inside. I saw this very clearly one day as I was lying under a mother drum. These soul images stick around for a long time. And you what something? They are carried into consciousness on the wings of sadness.


You have allowed the space to open. You have made room for your soul to express itself. To talk to YOU. About what you really, really want to do in life. You just may have entered the most precious territory of your life, better than any 5-star vacation trip. I promise. Your patience and your willingness to hold back are being rewarded.


As the words "honor your stuckness" reverberated through my mind last night, I also became very aware of how difficult it is to hold this space, when you are not subjected to any form of crisis.

We have forgotten how to do that. It requires some visualization skills to do that, but the potential lives in all of us.


Next time sometimes comes around the corner that does not feel good, do churn up anger or rage. Stay calm, breathe into your boundary, and fill it with a rejuvenating image. Your favorite place to be. Then make room for Stuckness and Sister Sadness. Listen to what you will be hearing, and see what you will be offered to see. Only when your time in the sacred s is over, call in your cognitive powers to build what you have been shown.


Some wise souls have said, that gratitude is even more powerful than love. It is easier to access for us driven beings of the 21st century. Begin your day by naming 10 things you are grateful for. Really mean it. Finish your day by naming 10 things that you were grateful for that day. Celebrate them. Just this little bit of consciousness will lead toward


Be well everybody, be gentle on yourself, and keep trucking...


* Us Life Coach Martha Beck calls her coaches Wayfinders. Because that is what we do: we find our own way and we help others find theirs. * Karla Mc Laren, Language of Emotions

* The Cosmic I-Ching, Carl K. Anthony, and Hanna Moog

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